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Believe it or not, you’ll always see at least 2 of these types of people in your local gym…
1. The Gamma Radiation Victim – While they aren’t green (yet), these guys are so large that they look like they could either live forever or die any second. Their clothes fit them like paint and their veins practically form roadmaps on their arms and legs. Fortunately for them, if they ever get lost on the way to their steroid dealer’s house, they can use their bodies like a AAA Trip-Tic. These are also the same guys that you should never ask to spot you, because if you are struggling to bang out your last rep with what you believe to be a respectable amount of weight, they will simply lift it off you with one hand … and then beat up your dad with the other.
2. Thomas Edison – Stay the hell away from this guy or girl, or else you’re bound to get hurt. There’s truly nothing scarier in the gym than the people who feel the need to invent their own exercises. As you and everyone else go about your daily grind, these people are rolling around on a physio-ball while balancing a soft-spoken Peruvian child on their head. A common explanation for the purpose of their whacked-out maneuvers is that this new exercise is great for working their ‘core.’ The truth? It doesn’t work their core at all. In fact, it doesn’t work anything…except to bring utter chaos into a weight room. Get these people on a treadmill and that’s when things really get dangerous.
3. Sparkle Motion – Remember the girls in college who used to get dressed to the hilt for an 8:00am class? Well, ten years later these same ladies are still going for cosmetic gold, primping and teasing their early morning glamour for a pre-work trip to the gym. The hair, the nails, the matching pink running shoes/zip-up sweatshirt ensemble, and even the unabashedly applied glitter lipstick…all at 5:30 in the goddamn morning. Most people with even an iota of sanity are still asleep at this hour. These glimmering gals, however, are already into their fourth cup of iced coffee and forty-third minute on the elliptical machine by this time.
4. The ‘A Bit Too Personal’ Trainer – Signing-up for a gym membership in itself can be a rather daunting process for some people. When you factor in a personal training session with someone who feels the need to tell you about all of their life problems, things can quickly go from uneasy to downright weird. “That’s it…one more…good…you can do it….good……..my mother died from advance stage syphilis.” Uh…what? Who needs to hear that? And how is that possibly motivating? I may be wrong, but I don’t recall a single scene in Rocky where Mickey told Rocky that the reason why his skin looks so healthy is because he refuses to poop after 8:30 at night.
5. Bob the Builder – Fancy health clubs may be the only place where this guy doesn’t show up, but for the rest of us whose annual gym memberships cost less than the price of a new Nissan Maxima, this unfashionably coarse fellow is a staple (Puns, kids. That’s what they’re called.). Sometimes it’s a pair of work boots and jeans, other times it’s a pair of overalls, and on some occasions it’s a line of clothing seemingly purchased from the Paul Bunyon collection on QVC. How do these people work out in all those layers? The grunge epoch may have ended in the late nineties, but flannel somehow managed to survive thanks to carpenters whose parents clearly never made them put on their ‘play clothes’ after school.6. The Unworthy Screamer – Although it is true that the huge guys do sometimes yell while they work out, it is most times the mostly-fat-but-partially-muscled guy who feels the need to grunt and groan at the top of his lungs each time he curls a thirty-five pound dumbbell. Even worse, when it turns out that the dying moose sounds you hear emanating from the far corner turn out to be the Herculean cries of a one hundred and fifty pound man wearing Puma sweats and a Riptide headband, banging out his last two reps of triceps extensions. Feel that burn, you annoying S.O.B.
7. The Teen Titan – Obesity rates for youths and teens are at an all time high, which is why you see less and less fat kids getting picked on today (fat is the new skinny, or at least it would seem). So, to see any teenage kids in the gym is, in and of itself, a good thing. Problems usually arise when a group of four of five teenage boys collectively decide to dive head first into a workout regimen that would make Ronnie Coleman sleep in. Their form is all out of whack and they do their best to shove around as much weight as their barely post-pubescent bodies possibly can. All goes to hell once a 45 pound plate slides off the side of the bar during an attempt at a one rep max bench press and the other side comes crashing down onto their spleen. Even worse is when they use far too much weight on the cable crossovers and end up being violently yanked backwards like Sweetchuck in Police Academy 2.
8. The Doctor of Style – Look, we all think it’s very impressive that you work at a hospital. You’re clearly a very intelligent and noble person. And, depending on your particular occupation, it’s likely that you probably make some serious money, too. But, is it still necessary to wear your powder blue scrubs to the gym? These people work all day long in these draw-string pants and v-neck shirts…don’t they want to change out of them? They may be comfortable and they may “breathe,” but that’s still no excuse for wearing your work clothes in public. Do the world a favor and pick-up a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, will you please?
9. Scarface – Though he’s not a cocaine drug kingpin, this guy is still to blame for leaving the weight room looking like the backroom of a bakery. Despite the fact that the signs clearly say that “Weightlifting Chalk is Not Allowed,” this dusty fellow claps his hands together with pride before each set, leaving everything and everyone around him covered in a layer of white powder. Only making things worse is the industrial size weightlifting belt this guy straps around the waistband of his ultra-tight spandex shorts, essentially forcing everyone in the gym to ’say hello to his little friend.’
10. The Senator – Treating each visit to the gym like a stop on a campaign trail, these types want to talk to you and everyone else about utter and complete nonsense. They never, ever shut up. Ever. Even while you attempt to finish your last five minutes of an hour run on the treadmill, or even worse, as you labor through your last set of squats, this person will find that to be the most opportune time to ask you how your family is doing, or how your job is going, or if you know a good place to buy deck stain. Your best attempts at ignoring them or hint dropping for them to leave you alone are about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire. Maybe these people really should run for office.
(Source)
“The largest collection of funny sports related photos, jokes, quotes and trivia on the web - guaranteed”
The guys at www.sportzfun.com look like they know their stuff when it comes to funny sports stuff on the web.
Go check them out…. nothing but FUN!
Now, we just need to get a hold of some local funnies!!
Ping Pong! Fun Fun Fun
Bounce the ball as many times as you can. How long can you go? Fun Stuff!
Pressure Kick
Kick the ball through the goal posts to complete the levels.
Boom Boom Volleyball
Beach volleyball with an added BOOM!
Bug-on-a-Wire
Run & Jump! Easy but fun. See how far you can go!
Tennis Ace
Fun & Easy Tennis Game - Beat all challengers and take home the Gold Cup
Superbike
High speed, 3D superbike racing, take your bike to the MAX!
Speed Cards
WARNING - This could become VERY addictive !
Pearl Diver
Dive & get as many pearls as you can - before your air runs out! Use Spacebar to grab pearls and arrows to move.
Downhill Jumps
Snow surfing fun
Cat with a Bow
Cat with a Bow Golf ….. yes I know, it’s fun!!
Balance
For how long can you balance your racket? Look out for the balls!
House Of Cards
Addictive card stacking game
Stress Relief Paintball
Use your mouse and shoot all the yellow smiley faces
Surf’s Up
Enjoy the waves inside your office or classroom …
Deluxe pool
Fancy a quick game of pool
Frustrating Fishy Fun
Eat up dude - you’re just a small fish in a big pond! Current highscore 247, email screenshot to info @thumbsup.co.za if you better the score.
Ashes
Destiny is in your hands as you lead your team to the crease to claw back a victory from the jaws of defeat.
Mini Golf
You know the game, you know the rules….FORE!!
>>GO and have some fun and play them here http://www.thumbsup.co.za/Games.aspx
Fun Stuff!
Although not always Oscar material, we’ve selected the Top 20 Greatest Sport Movies. We’ve based our selections on a couple of traits - entertainment value, blockbuster status & just good ol’ subjective perceptions! Here they are…
1. Happy Gilmore - the movie that put sports movies on the map. Fore!
2. Jerry Maguire - a classic…show me the….well, you know the rest
3. Cool Runnings - Jamaicans on ice. Brilliant
4. Caddyshack - Chevy Chase, Bill Murray. Enough said
5. Rocky - + sequels. A Legend
6. Remember the Titans - a damn good movie
7. Bloodsport - We can’t leave out ol’ Van Damme now, can we?
8. Varsity Blues - the ultimate varsity movie, with a kick ass soundtrack
9. Space Jam - Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Michael Jordan = lot’s of fun
10. The Replacements - A monument for all second-stringers
11. Major League - The ultimate baseball movie. Put Charlie Sheen on the map!
12. The Karate Kid - + sequels. Daniel-son, Mr. Miagi - legends
13. Ali - An icon (Will Smith) playing an icon (Ali). A success resipe.
14. Tin Cup - Kevin Costner swinging a golf club, cracking jokes, getting the girl.
15. Field of Dreams - Another tribute to Kevin
16. Chariots of Fire - An age-old classic
17. Mighty Ducks - Emilio Esteves on ice! Who can forget that ‘V’ formation - unbeatable?
18. The Longest Yard - Prisoners playing American Football. Not for sissies.
19. Cars - Ok, so we had to put an animation in here somewhere…
20. White Men Can’t Jump - Woody Harrelson & Wesley Snipes - lost count of the mount of swearing, but hey - another classic
Anything to add??
A brilliant article by Lynn Dike was published on News24.com - we liked it so much, wwe thought you guys can have a read!
As I write this I am filled with excitement, practically vibrating in my own skin. And what has got me into this state, you may ask?
Well, the current plethora of sporting events of course - the inaugural Twenty20 and the Rugby World Cup. It’s like my birthday and Christmas, all rolled into one, and just the thought of all the games ahead are enough to make my cerebellum fuse.
The only downside to the Twenty20 spectacular is the fact that my office is directly across the road from the Wanderers Cricket Stadium. This means that to get to my desk every day I have to circumnavigate 30 000 spectators, a legion of officials, a couple of cricket teams, a gazillion metro police officers, a herd of police horses, a gaggle of dancing boys and girls, around 300 ice-cream sellers, an army of street vendors selling flags from every country known to man and a partridge in a pear tree thrown in for good measure.
The journey takes roughly two days, and that’s if you take a few shortcuts through neighbourhood backyards. But there’s something wonderfully magical about the start of a major international sporting event. Anything is possible and there is every chance that South Africa will win, at which stage I will swoon with delight.
It’s like being a small child the night before Christmas. While you know that it’s highly likely that there will be a tricycle waiting for you under the tree in the morning, on Christmas Eve there is still the possibility that it might be the monster quad bike that you really had your heart set on.
Cricket World Cup
Because I’ve forgotten all about the heartbreak of the Cricket World Cup in the West Indies earlier in the year and the three months of therapy it required to get over the emotional trauma. (Well probably less “forgotten” than “blocked out of my memory”)
I’m one of those hopelessly optimistic people who get very excited at the prospect of winning, without worrying about the possible disappointment of losing.
I love cricket and rugby with fervour and passion and I think our cricket and rugby teams are marvellous. I wouldn’t miss a game for anything, whether we’re playing Australia, the Netherlands or the united nations of Jupiter.
I’m even one of Graeme Smith’s greatest fans. Yip, it’s his parents and me, the Smith Supporters Club. (All the rest of you who hate Graeme can now proceed directly to the comments section at the bottom of the page and give it your best shot; I am impervious to your anti-Smithie propaganda.) And when Polly is at his miserly best, AB is patrolling backward point and Albie Morkel has just hit the biggest six of the Twenty20 tournament so far, life is good.
I read this week that France has fallen in love with the Springboks. And who can blame them. Take Schalk Burger for example. With that thatch of white-blonde hair he looks like a giant six-year old, and while he may be prone to the odd act of mild thuggery, he is our thug and we wouldn’t trade him for the world and can’t wait until he is back in action.
Rugby’s best
Our boys are playing some damn fine rugby and are starting to look like serious contenders for the crown of rugby’s best. Fourie du Preez, arguably the best scrumhalf in the world; Bryan Habana, the master of the explosive interception try and Percy, with his impeccable place-kicking, you just have to love them.
And I want them to win, desperately. I’d give my right arm for both teams to win. Actually, maybe not my arm, but somebody else’s arm I’m sure.
I’d make a terrible Miss World contestant, because when the archetypal beauty queen question arose and all the other girls said that they wanted world peace, I’d say I wanted South Africa to win every cricket and rugby world cup from now until eternity. And then Miss Australia would sledge me, Miss New Zealand would start to make aggressive dance moves and Miss England would try to get me to compete on her behalf, and it would be a disaster.
So right now, when both our rugby and cricket teams are unbeaten in their respective competitions and looking good, all is well in my world. And the idea that our winning ways may yet end in disaster is simply not an option to be considered.
If we should lose I will be in bed until Christmas, with the curtains drawn and the covers pulled over my head, making a high-pitched keening sound that is only audible to dogs. But until then, I’m just about the happiest person around, so excuse me if I rush off, I think there’s a game about to start.
You can go directly to the article here: http://www.news24.com/News24/Columnists/Lynn_Dike/0,,2-1630-2222_2186298,00.html
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